my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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