this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
