You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
