I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
