she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
