The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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