I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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