i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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