And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
