im having a threesome with these popsicles
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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