So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
