It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize