Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
