you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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