I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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