i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
