Girls should come with a carfax report
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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