Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
