she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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