mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
