So drunk, too bad you don't want this
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
