garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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