just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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