So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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