A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry