Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man