he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
high people should be assigned attendants
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.