i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I will pee on everything he values.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.