what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
