i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize