i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
