This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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