I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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