I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
