I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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