Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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