i permit you to call me
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize