I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
