Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
