The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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