new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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