Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
