so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
