dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize