1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
