Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
