my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
