Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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