He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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