Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
