What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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