"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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