Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
