Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
