so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
