just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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