isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
