Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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