you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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